Tag: love

Falsehoods and Fallacies

I claim to know what love is

What it feels like to need another person

Like your next breath

Like oxygen

The very substance we need to survive

But…

Do I truly know?

Do I know how it feels to have someone who

I can’t be without?

My first experience was a lie.

One falsehood

One fallacy after another.

“You complete me.”

No I don’t.

“We’re gonna be married in the future.”

No we won’t.

“I’ve never felt this way about someone before.”

I guess me neither.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

No I wasn’t.

You were the worst thing that happened to me.

So maybe my claim to know love is…

A falsehood

A fallacy.

The love I know breaks you down

Tears you in two

Takes over your everything…

Then leaves you broken.

The tattered remains of one who once was

The love I know only takes but never gives

It leaves you empty

A black hole

Void of existence

Just a being

Grasping onto anything

In a poor attempt to survive.

So maybe I should say I have an idea of what love should look like

Because…

Turns out I don’t know.

The only love I know

HURTS

It hurts like hell

It’s full of tears

Tears cried alone in the middle of the night

Pleas to God to make it work.

What am I doing wrong?

Why doesn’t he love me like I love him?

Love shouldn’t hurt…

Love should be honest

Not full of falsehoods and fallacies

Not full of empty promises whispered when no one can hear

Maybe I can only talk about what love is not

Love is not waiting on a phone call that never comes

A date that is always broken

Love doesn’t say she’s just a friend when we both know she’s more

Love doesn’t le

Because love is pure

“Love is patient, love is kind…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

Your love broke all the rules

You weren’t patient or kind

There was never any hope

Your love failed

It did not persevere

Turns out I have no idea how loves feels

Not from the one who claims to have those feels.

The only thing I know is

Falsehoods and fallacies

A story full of lies that I once believed

 

How Are You…Really?

Good morning everyone!!!!! I have been absent for a few days attending a lovely wedding of a dear family friend in San Antonio, Texas; however, I am back and ready to jump right back in with you all.

On the drive back from San Antonio, I had quite a bit of time on my hands, I mean, we were in the car for 8 hours. So, I began reading a book, and it ask this question, “How are you…Really?” Why is this such a hard question for us to answer? I mean, everyday that we wake up, we know as soon as we open our eyes how we are feeling. Right? But, when someone asks us how we are we struggle to answer this question. We gloss over what we are really feeling, we lie, or we just shrug it off, I mean, who really wants to know exactly how I am. In my experience, sometimes, people don’t know how to respond when you answer honestly. I will be the first to raise my hand and say that when someone tells me, “I’m going through something and life is just really tough for me right now,” I don’t always know the right thing to say. The other side is, when someone asks us how we are , we immediately think, they don’t want to hear my problems. I’m going to raise my hand once again and say I don’t always answer honestly to this question either. Who wants to hear what is really going on in my life; they have enough problems of their own, why do they need to hear my #firstworldproblems.

Here’s something that we should keep in the front of our minds when it comes to this question, we don’t always have to have the “right” response! I know, sounds so easy right, but clearly, we all know this isn’t as easy as it sounds. I think our world teaches us that we always have to have a positive upbeat response to people. We have to fix whatever is wrong with them, so we are programmed to say; I’m good, I’m blessed, I’m well, or my favorite response, I could complain, but I won’t.

Here’s a simple truth, we’re not always good, we don’t always feel the blessings of the Lord, because sometimes we are going through some really heavy stuff, and we allow it to block our communication with the Lord. We allow it to block us from feeling grace towards ourselves. The first step is being honest with ourselves, and looking in the mirror and saying, “today, I don’t feel that great,” and from that step then we can take the next step to getting to where we need to be to be able to honestly answer the BIG question.

For those who ask this BIG question, know this, you don’t always have to have the “right” answer, or response. Sometimes, we are placed to just listen, and when we do respond, we should respond with love and sincerity.

As I have mentioned before in other post, I was raised in a Baptist church singing gospel songs. This morning when I woke up, a song that I have not heard in years and years was running through my head, the lyrics so like this;

                         Please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet.  When God   gets through with me, I shall come forth as pure gold. 

Growing up, I did not really understand the meaning of this song, but today, I can understand it a little better…as long as we are walking on this earth, we are not going to be perfect, life is not going to be easy, we are not always going to respond in the way we should, BUT there will come a day when our work here is complete and we are on the other side of heaven, and we will shine like gold. As long as we are walking on Earth, we will be a work in progress, we won’t always be good or alright, we will face hard days and we will feel less than ok. When those days come, we can respond, “today, I don’t feel my best.” We can be honest with ourselves and others, and we don’t have to respond with the cookie cutter answer and say, “oh, well it will get better.” Because real talk, some days we don’t need an answer, we just need an ear that will listen and tell us, you don’t have to always be ok!

Today I will say this to you, I just (literally right now) pulled a white hair from my head, I feel just a little bit old. (LOL), actually I pulled out two. Be blessed today my friends.