Behind these eyes

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So, it’s been awhile since I sat down and took time to write in my blog…actually it’s been five months. So many things and nothing at all have happened in those five months. I’m sure that makes absolutely no sense, so let me elaborate on what I mean by that statement. I have a friend who was asking me regularly if I had written in my blog lately and my response was I haven’t read anything to write about. The rebuttal to that statement was, “excuses”, which was probably a little true. I think I was making excuses because I didn’t have anything I felt was interesting enough to write about, but I started this blog to write my thoughts and reviews on books that I read, and also to share some of my own personal writing. So, with that in mind, I could always sit down and write about anything, doesn’t matter if it’s a review or just meaningless babbling.

Anyhow, in September I picked up the first Outlander book by Diana Gabaldon and haven’t looked back. I fell in love with the story of Claire and Jaime, and if anyone has read these books then you know they are thick books with a minimum of 600 pages each. (very time consuming) I was so caught up that I couldn’t stop reading between each book to write a review. Sorry folks for the lack of a detailed review on these novels, but I highly recommend them for sure. I am currently on books 6, I believe, and as far as I know there are two more left.

Also, since Aug I have been working quite a bit. I have moved from one store location to another and back again, and it has taken a toll on me mentally for sure. As soon as I get comfortable in one work environment I’m moved to another which is a huge challenge. I’ve been trying to figure out how to keep my head above water and not become overwhelmed with the workload as well as the various personalities that surround me, and let me tell you, it’s been tough. I’ve had my days when I’ve completely broken down in tears because I feel lost in this world of employment and management. It’s not easy. But everyday I’m learning more and learning what I’m capable of which is a good thing. Challenges keep us on our toes. The holidays working retail was my biggest challenge for sure, but now it’s a new year and no more holiday hours for eleven months…yay!

I have also started a weight loss journey which has crossed my path with some pretty awesome and encouraging people. I’ve done the diet thing in the past, done the lifestyle change, all those things, but this time I’ve surrounded myself with a group of people who are so dang supportive that it makes me wanna continue down this road to be healthy. This time I’m trying out Herbalife and I surprisingly like it. I’m at the health club at least once a day and I love it!

Another thing I’ve done with my time is try to date…I think I was unsuccessful in that area. Dating in your 30s is not easy. Everyone has baggage that they are carrying and we can’t always see their baggage and they can’t see ours. I think I was unsuccessful because I leaned on the side of caution and probably moved slower than most people. Call me crazy, but shouldn’t we build solid foundations in relationships and get to know the person across from us before throwing all caution to the wind? My coworkers told me the other day…”Tia this is not dating in the way that your parents dated, people don’t court anymore, you have to be more free…” the thought of that makes me a little sad, what does that say about the world we live in and the morals that we have? So I guess back to the drawing board for new ideas on dating in 2015. I think back to my 20s and the relationship decisions I made back then that I would never do now, but those are lessons that we have to learn the hard way.

Behind these eyes lies a person who is looking for their happy ever after, but isn’t quite sure how to find the road that leads there. Behind these eyes is a person who wants to believe in people and see the best in them. Behind these eyes lies a girl who just wants to belong and fit in somewhere.  Behind these eyes is a girl who just wants to be happy…

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