Tag: blogger

Bittersweet

Today is a bittersweet day, it has been 8 years since the hardest day of my entire life. On July 10, 2008 I suffered a tragic miscarriage. I don’t talk much about it, I don’t share my story too often, because it is something I carry extremely close to my heart. I will never forget what it felt like to find out I was going to be a mom, what it was like to go to the doctor and see my babies first photograph, to hear the heartbeat, but…alas, I was never able to hear my babies heartbeat.  

In the beginning, I struggled with understanding of why this happened to me? What did I do wrong in the 4 months that I carried this precious gift that it was taken away from me? From the first day that I knew I would be a mother I fell in love, and I couldn’t wait to hold that special gift in my arms; however, it was not meant to be. It took some time for me to heal from the deep sorrow and hurt, both physical and mental, but my Father in heaven held on to me tightly. Many nights, alone in my room I cried and prayed for understanding, for comfort, and He eventually gave it to me. Not necessarily the understanding, because, not even the doctor could fully understand what went wrong, but the comfort and healing slowly came. The sadness slipped away. 

No, I will never forget the child that I carried, I will never know if it was a boy or a girl, but I know that I will one day see my baby in heaven. I have comfort in knowing that, and look forward to that day. 

During that time, I also learned what true friendship was. My friends, huddled around me, and loved on me so hard in the following days and months. They prayed for me, spent time just sitting with me, and let me know they were there whenever I needed them. So, yes it is a bittersweet day, but I can remember the positives that also came from that loss. There is a beauty in brokenness, and that is when our Father can truly reach out and hold onto us and show us what unconditional love is. Today, I will not mourn over my loss, but instead rejoice in knowing that although I never will see my first child on this earth, one day I will hold him or her in my arms and let him or her know how much their mother loved them from day one and every day after. 

It’s More Than Just a #Hashtag

More times than not, I read articles online, on Facebook, see news reports about issues happening in our world, and like so many others, I stay silent. I keep my thoughts and opinions to myself, because I don’t want to offend others, or have to defend my opinion. However, the time for silence needs to end. I can honestly say, at this point in time, it’s scary being a black person in America. As much as people want to scream and holler that racism does not exist, there are more and more examples that tell me otherwise. Black men and women are being murdered every single day, and the masses are Telling us, no this is not a problem. IT IS A PROBLEM!!!!! Let’s wake up and look around, people are being murdered in the streets at such an alarming rate, and it’s becoming increasingly hard to pretend that it is not happening. 

I had a long conversation with my sister tonight, and we talked in depth about the Black Lives Matter movement, if that is what you want to call it, and I told her, I am scared to become a mother because my children will have to grow up in a world where they need to fear simple privileges such as driving down the street. I also told her, as long as the white people don’t see a problem with what is going on, then nothing is going to change.

Now let’s not get anything twisted, when I say the white people, I do not mean every white person in the world, but the majority of the people who are against black lives matter are not of color. I am not racist or prejudice in any manner, my best friend is a white girl from Indiana, and she, more than anyone I know, understands why black lives matter. It’s as simple as this, I as a black woman, do not have the same privilege as a white man or woman. As much as people say they don’t see color they only see people, it’s not true. You can ask any black person if they walk into a room full of people, if the first thing they notice is how many other black people are in the crowd; especially if it is in a city or state where “we” are the minority.  The resounding answer will be yes. As a black person, from a young age we are taught that we are different solely based on the color of our skin. Does that make us less than? Of course not, but, we always know we are different. And now, society is telling us we are expendable, that our lives are not as important as someone who isn’t black, and it has got to change. 

I’m not going to go on and on and call out names of the individuals who have lost their lives, because we already know. It is now a running commentary that we are all one police stop away from being a hashtag, and as ridiculous as that sounds, it’s true. We can’t continue to excuse these heinous acts with ridiculous rhetoric, oh, well he looked suspicious, or he should have behaved like this. Just a few months ago, I was driving to Dallas with my white friend and I was pulled over for going 4 miles over the speed limit on the interstate. Now, I was going with the flow of traffic, but I was singled out for whatever reason, maybe my car stood out more because of the color. The officer pulled me over, requested I turn off my vehicle, and then step away from my car. Myfirst thought was not that I was being targeted based on my skin color, but instead, that I needed to do everything that this officer asked me to do to avoid any trouble, or a ticket. I was blessed enough to get off with a warning, but my friend was livid. She questioned, why did he make you get out, why did he request you walk away from the car? He didn’t want me to hear what he was saying to you. Praise the Lord, the officer that stopped me was level headed, and I did not question his authority, but many others are not treated  similarly, they are not even given the opportunity to step away from their vehicles. Officers are shooting first and then asking questions later. We can no longer be silent. We need to stand together, and stand for what is right. 

My heart is so heavy right now, for the people who have lost loved ones, as well as for the state of the world we live in. It is time for us to fall on our faces and pray for the world. These are scary times, and as with many things, it is going to get worse before it gets better. As I told my sister tonight, we should not be shocked by what is going on in the world, because we live in a fallen world. We live in a world where sin is now glorified, so we should not be surprised by the disasters state  around, but does that mean we are numb to it? Not at all! 

We need to come together and let our voices be heard, and say that Black Live Matter is more than just a hashtag, but instead a reality. We are no longer slaves without names or homes, we are people who should have the same rights as the person standing next to us. This has got to end, but until the world recognzes there really is a problem,  we will continue to spin our wheels, and get nowhere. 

Chronicles of an Oily Girl

So…it’s been almost a month since I started using doTerra essential oils, and I’m still in love with these oils. I’m now known as the oil girl to my coworkers and my family. Everyday I learn something new about the amazing benefits of essential oils. It has literally taken over my life. As of today, I’ve used oils to get rid of ants, clean my bathroom, address poor eating habits, address overeating habits, sleep better at night, clear up acne scars.  I could probably name a few more, and I find myself daily saying, “there’s an oil for that!” Which sounds super cliché, but so true. 

Last night I sat down with a couple of ladies who have been using oils for awhile now, and I left super excited about my future with essential oils. The possibilities are endless! Sometimes I feel like those jokes that people share about vegans and cross fitters, where they say that is all they talk about, being vegan or doing cross fit. Well, I realize, based on that analogy, that when you are involved in something that you truly believe in, then you talk about it. You talk about how it has changed you, how it makes you feel, and how much you love it! 

I am using oils everyday at work, and now my coworkers ask, “did you bring your oil today?” Or “do you have anything for…” And I’m like, ” as a matter of fact I do!”  Essential oils have brought a new excitement to my life, and I am eager to share it with everyone. To share the awesome benefits of living an oily life!  

Getting oily

I recently started my journey as an “oiler.”  By that I mean, I started using essential oils,candy just like that I became obsessed. For awhile I have been interested in essential oils, and many friends on Facebook rave about how great the oils are, and how their lives have been transformed by using said oils, but I had no clue how they worked. Well, that is until recently. A friend and his wife paid me a visit at work, and gave me a small sample of these magic oils and explained to me in great detail the many uses that essential oils have, and I was sold. I took my sample home, it was a sleep blend, I rubbed some on the bottoms of my feet as instructed, and had the most restful sleep I’ve had in months. Like so many people out there, I suffer with sleep problems. I struggle to fall asleep, and once asleep, I struggle to stay asleep. With sleep patterns such as this, I would wake up tired and be sluggish all day. This would call for large amounts of coffee throughout the day. Now, I will not say that this oil has ruined my relationship with coffee, we are 100% committed to each other, but… I did not wake up sluggish and tired. Not only did this tiny amount of oil help me sleep, but my dog who sleeps with me slept through the night as well. Oftentimes she gets up in the middle of the night for various reasons, she’s hungry, she thirsty, she just needs to stretch her legs and walk around. You know, the usual things dogs do.

Anyhow, after sampling the serenity blend, I decided to start looking into these oils, and deciding if it was something I wanted to invest in and if I would actually use the oils. Well, I decided I was in and called up my friend and said, let’s do this. Since purchasing my oil kit, I have used my oils every day, and continue to research all the health benefits. I am sleeping so soundly that I wake up ready for my day, I feel better in my emotional health, and feel a bit more energized. Bottom line, I’m obsessed.

This, is my introductory post about my new love for essential oils and definitely not my last. I’m still learning and as I learn I will definitely share. I’m also still learning the rules about sharing about the oil brand I chose. Originally, when I first learned about essential oils, Youngs Living was the only oils I would see people talk about, and it was quite appealing to me, but ultimately I chose doTerra as my choice. I am completely happy with my decision and will share with anyone interested as to why I chose this brand. Leave a comment or even your favorite blends. I love hearing new blends, Pinterest can only go so far!

Mirror

This journey we call life can be so unnerving at times. So many situations can occur that are out of our control. Today has been a bit of a challenge for me because I feel uncertain about several things. This brings forth the question of what does tomorrow hold. We can never be sure because tomorrow is not promised…actually nothing is promised. Some days I go to sleep and question “did I do enough to make a difference or leave my mark behind on today.” But the thing is we can never know. I try to be kind to others, I try to do my job to my best capabilities, I try to be responsible and ethical, but around me I see others doing the exact opposite and getting ahead. It makes you question, what’s the right thing to do? At the end of the day I know my truth, so I will continue to live my life in a manner that I can look myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of the reflection looking back at me.